- From: Randy
- To: Jean (First View: 06/24/2016 7:34 AM)
- Sent: 06/24/2016 7:17 AM
- Subject: Calendar questions
Message:
Are the
specifics of the piano recital on 6/25 confirmed? (2:00 @ Shepherd?)
The calendar shows Emma having a piano lesson on July 12th from 3:30 - 4:00 with you on drop off and pick up. I believe that would fall to me. Is that at Shepherd?
I believe Christmas Eve is incorrect in the calendar currently. It shows me with an overnight on the 23rd and returning them at noon on the 24th. I believe I am to return them at noon on the 25th.
The calendar shows Emma having a piano lesson on July 12th from 3:30 - 4:00 with you on drop off and pick up. I believe that would fall to me. Is that at Shepherd?
I believe Christmas Eve is incorrect in the calendar currently. It shows me with an overnight on the 23rd and returning them at noon on the 24th. I believe I am to return them at noon on the 25th.
- From: Jean
- To: Randy (First View: 06/24/2016 7:59 AM)
- Sent: 06/24/2016 7:58 AM
- Subject: RE: Calendar questions
Message:
I did get
confirmation on the recital, it is Sunday at 1. I have updated the calendar.
Piano lessons are at shepherd, I have updated the calendar to show you dropoff and pick up July 12
Christmas eve was on the 23rd and not the 24th. I have updated the calendar to match the decree.
Piano lessons are at shepherd, I have updated the calendar to show you dropoff and pick up July 12
Christmas eve was on the 23rd and not the 24th. I have updated the calendar to match the decree.
- From: Randy
- To: Jean (First View: 06/24/2016 10:56 AM)
- Sent: 06/24/2016 8:39 AM
- Subject: Christmas Eve
Message:
I
acknowledge that what is precisely written in the version of the document that
we signed defines the Christmas Eve Parenting Time as a 19 hour span from 5:00
pm on the 24th through noon on the 25th. I will mention that my intention and
assumption based on previous versions of the document was to be an overnight on
the 23rd and an overnight on the 24th. You are absolutely right that I should
have completely and carefully reread all 34 pages before signing a legal
document. It is my hope that we can approach this reasonably. For example, you
recently sent a text message directly to me, which would have been technically
forbidden. However, it was completely reasonable, not malicious, and was in the
best interest of the girls. I'd ask that you consider the possibility of
expanding the Christmas Eve holiday to include the additional overnight to
allow for a more relaxed and enjoyable time with family. You certainly don't
have to, but it is my hope that you at least consider it.
Thank you.
Thank you.
- From: Jean
- To: Randy (First View: 06/24/2016 11:20 AM)
- Sent: 06/24/2016 11:15 AM
- Subject: RE: Christmas Eve
Message:
I am
unable to make this trade.
The christmas eve holiday falls on my regular weekend. The requested trade would result in three weekends in a row with one parent which is not in the best interests of the children.
The christmas eve holiday falls on my regular weekend. The requested trade would result in three weekends in a row with one parent which is not in the best interests of the children.
- From: Randy
- To: Jean (First View: 07/14/2016 12:07 PM)
- Sent: 07/14/2016 11:40 AM
- Subject: December vacation
Message:
I intend
to use one of my 2016 vacation periods from 5:00 pm on 12/18 through 5:00 pm on
12/24. This will flow directly into my Christmas Eve time, which ends at noon
on 12/25.
As this would result in me having the girls 3 weekends in a row, I propose a swap of my 12/16 - 12/18 weekend for your 12/9 - 12/11 weekend.
As this would result in me having the girls 3 weekends in a row, I propose a swap of my 12/16 - 12/18 weekend for your 12/9 - 12/11 weekend.
- From: Jean
- To: Randy (First View: 07/22/2016 11:33 AM)
- Sent: 07/22/2016 11:31 AM
- Subject: Vacation
Message:
I have
decided to use my second week of vacation the last week of august. I have
updated the calendar. This will also resolve the three weekend in a row issue
around labor day.
- From: Jean
- To: Randy (First View: 07/24/2016 8:25 PM)
- Sent: 07/24/2016 8:20 PM
- Subject: RE: December vacation
Message:
Your
suggested trade resulted in the children only having 2 weekends with me in the
last 7 weeks of the year. This is not in their best interests.
I have created the neccessary trades to make a balanced schedule for the end of the year. The schedule propsed is:
Nov 11-14 Jean
Nov 18-21 Jean
Nov 25-28 Randy (thanks giving)
Dec 2-5 Randy
Dec 9-13 Jean
Dec 16-20 Jean
Dec 23-25 Randy
New years Randy
Please accept these trades and then I will accept the vacation.
I have created the neccessary trades to make a balanced schedule for the end of the year. The schedule propsed is:
Nov 11-14 Jean
Nov 18-21 Jean
Nov 25-28 Randy (thanks giving)
Dec 2-5 Randy
Dec 9-13 Jean
Dec 16-20 Jean
Dec 23-25 Randy
New years Randy
Please accept these trades and then I will accept the vacation.
- From: Randy
- To: Jean (First View: 08/08/2016 8:09 AM)
- Sent: 08/07/2016 10:51 PM
- Subject: RE: December vacation
Message:
I declared
my intention to take one of my 2 vacations at least 30 days prior to said
vacation and I proposed the requisite trades to prevent either one of us going
three consecutive weekends without the girls. There are no stipulations
regarding larger ranges of weekends and their ratios. Also, there is no clause
requiring that you "accept the vacation". I will, therefore, request
that you acknowledge my vacation in the system and accept the trades that I
have proposed. If you would prefer that I enter my vacation as a holiday, as
you did for your August vacation, I can do that.
If you have additional concerns, I am open to discourse within this tool. If you would prefer, you are more than welcome to send in the form and fee to M.Short's office (as I had requested on 3 separate occasions in the past - 11/30/2015 "PC Contract"; 01/10/2016 "PC Status"; 01/18/2016 "Parenting Consultant"). I'd prefer to avoid that expense, but the girls are too important to get things wrong, thus, if it is needed, I am in full support of using his services.
If you have additional concerns, I am open to discourse within this tool. If you would prefer, you are more than welcome to send in the form and fee to M.Short's office (as I had requested on 3 separate occasions in the past - 11/30/2015 "PC Contract"; 01/10/2016 "PC Status"; 01/18/2016 "Parenting Consultant"). I'd prefer to avoid that expense, but the girls are too important to get things wrong, thus, if it is needed, I am in full support of using his services.
- From: Randy
- To: Jean (First View: 09/12/2016 8:21 AM)
- Sent: 09/09/2016 11:13 AM
- Subject: Responses requested
Message:
I am still
awaiting a response to 2 messages:
"RE: December vacation" sent 8/7
"October weekend swap" sent 8/8
"RE: December vacation" sent 8/7
"October weekend swap" sent 8/8
- From: Randy
- To: Jean (First View: 09/22/2016 6:16 PM)
- Sent: 09/22/2016 9:25 AM
- Subject: Please respond
Message:
I need you
to acknowledge my vacation in the system and accept the trades that I have
proposed. If there is something keeping you from doing so, please let me know
when I can expect a response. (This had all been mentioned in an earlier
message: "RE: December vacation" sent 8/7.)
- From: Jean
- To: Randy (First View: 09/22/2016 6:50 PM)
- Sent: 09/22/2016 6:30 PM
- Subject: RE: Please respond
Message:
To
accomodate your vacation the schedule for the thanksgiving, christmas and new
years holiday will be as follows:
Nov 11-14 Jean
Nov 18-21 Jean
Nov 25-28 Randy (thanks giving)
Dec 2-5 Randy
Dec 9-13 Jean
Dec 16-20 Jean
Dec 23-25 Randy
New years Randy
Please accept these trades and then I will accept the vacation.
Nov 11-14 Jean
Nov 18-21 Jean
Nov 25-28 Randy (thanks giving)
Dec 2-5 Randy
Dec 9-13 Jean
Dec 16-20 Jean
Dec 23-25 Randy
New years Randy
Please accept these trades and then I will accept the vacation.
- From: Randy
- To: Jean (First View: 10/25/2016 10:30 PM)
- Sent: 10/25/2016 8:15 PM
- Subject: RE: Please respond
Message:
I
apologize for the delay in my reply. I've been struggling with what to say and
how. I don't wish to send us in a negative or combative direction. We needn't
be adversaries. It should be the goal of neither of us to "stick it to the
other".
I am disappointed with how this holiday scheduling process has gone.
I made what I felt to be a fairly simple and reasonable request. (To add the overnight on the 23rd to allow for a more relaxed and enjoyable Christmas Eve.) You correctly pointed out that this would have lead to 3 weekends in a row, but that is not an insurmountable hurdle.
I then tried a different approach. I requested one of my weeks of vacation and entered the trades that would be required to not violate the "3 weekends in a row" rule.
Here's where things got off track, at least for me.
You mentioned that, with my plan, you'd only have 2 of the final 7 weekends of the year with the girls. While this is true, it is also heavy-handed. First, even with me taking a full 7 days extra, and including my Thanksgiving time, you still would have the girls 56% of the time from 11/18 through 1/1. Sure, much of that time is weekdays, but there will be a school break, so the focus on the "weekend" is a bit misleading. Second, if you were to include the weekends on both sides of that same span, you'd have 4 of 9, which, when dealing with integers, is one of the two options for "half". Additionally, we have no clauses about 2 of 7, 4 of 9, or anything else. The only situation we're explicitly trying to avoid is either one of us going 3 straight weekends without the girls, which my proposal satisfies.
The next issue I have regards your counterproposal.
1) You are asking for the period from 12/16 5:00 PM until 12/19 8:00 AM, which is 63 hours. In exchange, you are offering the period from 12/23 7:00 PM until 12/25 12:00 PM, which is only 41 hours. I do not understand why I must surrender an additional 22 hours.
2) Of the 41 hours you are offering me, I already have 19 of them, thanks to the Christmas Eve holiday. You can't give me what I already have.
3) The remaining 22 hours you are offering are included in my vacation.
The net effect is that you are offering me nothing in exchange for an entire weekend.
I don't want to go back to a world of lawyers. I'd rather not have to go through the hassle and expense of working with a Parental Consultant. But, we need to get better at working together for the good of the girls. I'm pleased that the Zhu Zhu pets are visiting my house. That's something that technically doesn't need to happen, but it allows the girls to feel both homes are theirs. It would be great if the Weird Al CDs could visit some time, so I could rip the mp3s and include them in our travel music rotation. It would cost you nothing and bring enjoyment to the girls.
It should still be our shared goal to give the girls as good a childhood as we can. They need connections to both sides of the family, the chance to participate in important life events (Paul's confirmation, Jonathan's baptism, Dean & Steffany’s wedding, Bill's baptism at some point, etc.), and meaningful exposure to a large network of people who love, support, and encourage them.
I don't want to fight. But I also won't simply give up. Please confirm the vacation and requisite trades that I created.
I am disappointed with how this holiday scheduling process has gone.
I made what I felt to be a fairly simple and reasonable request. (To add the overnight on the 23rd to allow for a more relaxed and enjoyable Christmas Eve.) You correctly pointed out that this would have lead to 3 weekends in a row, but that is not an insurmountable hurdle.
I then tried a different approach. I requested one of my weeks of vacation and entered the trades that would be required to not violate the "3 weekends in a row" rule.
Here's where things got off track, at least for me.
You mentioned that, with my plan, you'd only have 2 of the final 7 weekends of the year with the girls. While this is true, it is also heavy-handed. First, even with me taking a full 7 days extra, and including my Thanksgiving time, you still would have the girls 56% of the time from 11/18 through 1/1. Sure, much of that time is weekdays, but there will be a school break, so the focus on the "weekend" is a bit misleading. Second, if you were to include the weekends on both sides of that same span, you'd have 4 of 9, which, when dealing with integers, is one of the two options for "half". Additionally, we have no clauses about 2 of 7, 4 of 9, or anything else. The only situation we're explicitly trying to avoid is either one of us going 3 straight weekends without the girls, which my proposal satisfies.
The next issue I have regards your counterproposal.
1) You are asking for the period from 12/16 5:00 PM until 12/19 8:00 AM, which is 63 hours. In exchange, you are offering the period from 12/23 7:00 PM until 12/25 12:00 PM, which is only 41 hours. I do not understand why I must surrender an additional 22 hours.
2) Of the 41 hours you are offering me, I already have 19 of them, thanks to the Christmas Eve holiday. You can't give me what I already have.
3) The remaining 22 hours you are offering are included in my vacation.
The net effect is that you are offering me nothing in exchange for an entire weekend.
I don't want to go back to a world of lawyers. I'd rather not have to go through the hassle and expense of working with a Parental Consultant. But, we need to get better at working together for the good of the girls. I'm pleased that the Zhu Zhu pets are visiting my house. That's something that technically doesn't need to happen, but it allows the girls to feel both homes are theirs. It would be great if the Weird Al CDs could visit some time, so I could rip the mp3s and include them in our travel music rotation. It would cost you nothing and bring enjoyment to the girls.
It should still be our shared goal to give the girls as good a childhood as we can. They need connections to both sides of the family, the chance to participate in important life events (Paul's confirmation, Jonathan's baptism, Dean & Steffany’s wedding, Bill's baptism at some point, etc.), and meaningful exposure to a large network of people who love, support, and encourage them.
I don't want to fight. But I also won't simply give up. Please confirm the vacation and requisite trades that I created.
- From: Jean
- To: Randy (First View: 10/27/2016 9:38 AM)
- Sent: 10/27/2016 8:37 AM
- Subject: RE: Please respond
Message:
To
accomodate your vacation, the schedule for the thanksgiving, christmas and new
years holiday will be as follows:
Nov 11-14 Jean
Nov 18-21 Jean
Nov 25-28 Randy (thanks giving)
Dec 2-5 Randy
Dec 9-13 Jean
Dec 16-20 Jean
Dec 23-25 Randy
New years Randy
The schedule has been updated to reflect this. You will need to accept the trade to return dec 2-4 to it's original schedule as your weekend.
You are within your rights to forgo the Dec 2-5 weekend with the children if you should so choose. If you do not accept the trade I will provide care for them. I will not replace that time should you choose not to follow the schedule.
Nov 11-14 Jean
Nov 18-21 Jean
Nov 25-28 Randy (thanks giving)
Dec 2-5 Randy
Dec 9-13 Jean
Dec 16-20 Jean
Dec 23-25 Randy
New years Randy
The schedule has been updated to reflect this. You will need to accept the trade to return dec 2-4 to it's original schedule as your weekend.
You are within your rights to forgo the Dec 2-5 weekend with the children if you should so choose. If you do not accept the trade I will provide care for them. I will not replace that time should you choose not to follow the schedule.
- From: Randy
- To: Jean (First View: 11/14/2016 12:08 PM)
- Sent: 11/14/2016 10:04 AM
- Subject: RE: Please respond
Message:
Upon
receipt of your previous message, it had become clear to me that we need
assistance. I had reached out again to M.Short's office. They were supposed to
be reaching out to you.
We are currently in disagreement as to who has the girls this weekend. Being the week of, I doubt we can resolve things in time, so, I will allow you to have the girls this weekend, but want it noted that I don't feel an appropriate trade was reached. We can discuss this with M.Short.
Please respond to M.Short so we can work with the Parenting Consultant we had named in our Decree.
We are currently in disagreement as to who has the girls this weekend. Being the week of, I doubt we can resolve things in time, so, I will allow you to have the girls this weekend, but want it noted that I don't feel an appropriate trade was reached. We can discuss this with M.Short.
Please respond to M.Short so we can work with the Parenting Consultant we had named in our Decree.
- From: Randy
- To: Jean (First View: 11/15/2016 7:16 PM)
- Sent: 11/15/2016 1:12 PM
- Subject: RE: Please respond
Message:
I have
been informed that you have requested M.Short's office not contact you again.
Let me remind you that our signed, entered, and binding Decree names M.Short as our Parenting Consultant.
[8] M.Short is hereby appointed the Parenting Consultant (PC) for the parties under the following terms and conditions, and shall be considered a person presiding at an alternative dispute resolution proceeding pursuant to Minnesota Statute § 604A.32.
[a] The parties agree to have the PC for two years.
Failure to abide by that order may result in returning to court to force the matter. Rest assured that, if I am required to go that route, I will be seeking legal fees.
Let me remind you that our signed, entered, and binding Decree names M.Short as our Parenting Consultant.
[8] M.Short is hereby appointed the Parenting Consultant (PC) for the parties under the following terms and conditions, and shall be considered a person presiding at an alternative dispute resolution proceeding pursuant to Minnesota Statute § 604A.32.
[a] The parties agree to have the PC for two years.
Failure to abide by that order may result in returning to court to force the matter. Rest assured that, if I am required to go that route, I will be seeking legal fees.
