The Journey of 1,000 miles... Oh, good lord! Put on your damned shoes already!

What follows is my correspondence with our Parental Consultant. I've colored my emails green, hopefully aiding in reading.

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November 24, 2015
My name is Andy [LastName].

Jen [LastName] and I are recently divorced and we named Matthew [LastName] as our Parental Consultant in our Decree. I have attached a copy of the Decree. You will find the section regarding Parental Consultant on page # 13 (which is the 14th page of the document).

Please let me know what other information or documentation you need to allow us to begin this process.

Thank you in advance for your assistance with our continued journey in co-parenting.

- Andy

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November 24, 2015

Hi Andy,

Thanks for the court order, everything looks good. I've attached Matthew's PC contract to this email for review and signature. If you could forward it to the other party it would be much appreciated.

Sincerely,

​Benjamin [LastName]​

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December 14, 2015

I sent in the form and my check a while ago. I also had forwarded the information along to my ex-wife.

Have you received my paperwork? Have you received hers?

I'm wondering what the next steps are.

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December 15, 2015

Hi Andy,

Yes, we still are holding on to your check, as Jennifer has not yet remitted payment nor has she submitted her signed contract. 

Sincerely,

Benjamin [LastName]

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January 18, 2016

Following up. Have you received payment and a signed contract from Jennifer [LastName] yet?

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January 18, 2016

Hi Andrew,

We're still waiting on Jennifer's contract and portion of the retainer.

Sincerely,

Benjamin [LastName]

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October 27, 2016

Hello again. It has been quite a while since I have written. I wanted to confirm where we are in this process. I suspect you've not received Jennifer's signed contract nor her portion of the fee.

I would like to know more about your initial process of taking on new clients. I feel that my ex-wife and I would benefit from your services and I am considering making the entire payment myself and seeking reimbursement later. I cannot, however, sign the document for her.

Is there anything that can be done at this point, or am I effectively stalemated by her refusal to acknowledge my requests that she send in her form and fee?

Thanks in advance for your assistance,

-Andy

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October 31, 2016

Hello Andy,

Can you please provide us with her contact information?  We have yet to reach out to her directly.  It appears that Ben asked you to forward the agreement on our behalf so we do not have her contact information (email would be great).  We can then try to reach out to her to see what her intentions are regarding Parenting Consulting services with Matthew [LastName].  

Sincerely,

​Cheryl [LastName]

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October 31, 2016

[UserName]@yahoo.com

This is the email I have, however, now all communication directly between us is through OurFamilyWizard.com.  I do believe/assume she still uses this. 

Thank you,

Andy

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November 2, 2016

Hello Mr. [LastName],

We have emailed Jen directly and will let you know if we hear back from her.  At this point you can contact your attorney to let him or her know that your co-parent is not following the Court Order.

Sincerely,

​Cheryl [LastName]

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November 2, 2016

Oh dear. I was hoping to have been done with attorneys at this point. Are we sure that will be necessary? Don't we have a signed decree naming Matthew [LastName]? Is it possible that, once contact has been made, we'd all be able to "play nicely together"? (I do realize, as I type this, that it would seem we are not necessarily "playing nice", which is why I've been compelled to reach out to you again. I'm just disappointed and saddened that it seems we are heading in the opposite direction.)

Please do keep me posted with updates. I'll remain hopeful that things go smoothly. 

Sincerely,

Andy

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November 10, 2016

Have you heard anything back yet? I'd like to know what the next steps are.

We are currently struggling with agreeing on the parenting schedule through the holidays and we are running out of time to get on the same page.

Feel free to call me if that would help. (###) ###-####

Thank you,

Andy

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November 14, 2016

Hello Andy,

We reached out to your co-parent at the email you provided and have not received a response.  You may want to reach out to her through OurFamilyWizard.  

Sincerely,

​Cheryl [LastName]

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November 14, 2016

Hello Andy,

Your co-parent replied to us and ask that we not contact her again.  

Sincerely,

​Cheryl​

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November 14, 2016

Oh, good heavens.

Did she provide any rationale?

I really didn't want to go back into the realm of attorneys. That is expensive and combative. We don't need to be enemies. Ugh. This is remarkably disappointing.

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November 14, 2016

She did not.  I just asked her to confirm that she is receiving our emails.​  Sorry.

Sincerely,

​Cheryl​

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November 15, 2016

Thank you for confirming that she had received your emails. Although she "ask[ed] that [you] not contact her again"... that's now how this works. (I'd prefer the IRS not contact me each year, asking for taxes but, sure enough, they keep coming back.) 

We have a signed, legally binding Decree and it names Matthew [LastName] as our Parental Consultant. If she wishes not to cooperate, that is her option, but there are consequences. I would be ok with you reminding her of the Decree and even quoting paragraphs, if you feel that might be helpful. (As mentioned in my initial contact with you, such clauses begin on page #13. If you'd like a new copy of the Decree, I can forward one.)

Since there had been some delay in reaching her via her yahoo.com email, here are the other contact options I'm aware of:

work email: [username]@[company].com

home phone: (###) ###-####

cell phone: (###) ###-####

home address: ### [street name] [City], [State] [zip]

I don't want to involve lawyers. I shouldn't have to. We have a signed Decree. There is no question as to what is supposed to happen. She has provided no reason for wishing to discontinue using your services. Involving attorneys is a needless expense and is antagonizing. I remain committed to the fact that she and I needn't be adversaries. In fact, it would be detrimental to the girls if we were to head down such a combative path. We need to work together to raise our girls as best we can. Show them love, support, and encouragement. Provide a good example of how adults interact with people; even people they don't necessarily like or agree with.

Please let me know how you recommend proceeding. I want to get us back on the right track. I need your help. We need your help.

Thank you,

Andy

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November 15, 2016

Hello Andy,

We understand that this is a difficult situation, however, it is not our role to force someone into these services.  She has asked that we stop contacting her and at this time we need to honor that request.  

Sincerely,

​Cheryl ​

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November 15, 2016

I agree, this is a difficult situation; divorce is challenging... especially with children involved... which is why we (co-parents, new to divorced parenthood) need help from you (professionals, trained in helping parents do right by their kids). I admit, it would be much better if both of us approached this with an open mind, but, imagine for a moment a slightly different situation:

Say we both had signed up, we met a few times, and then Jen decided that things "just weren't going her way" so she responded to one of your emails asking that you not contact her again. Do you just shrug your shoulders and say, "Oh well... I guess she no longer wants our help."

I'm forced to assume that it's relatively common that, at least at some point in the process of working with a Parental Consultant, at least one of the parents will fell disappointed, put out, or otherwise unsatisfied with how things are going. I can't imagine that the operating procedure at that point is to just give in.

Here are excerpts from our Decree, a legally binding document that we both poured way too much time and money into to simply disregard:

[8] Matthew [LastName] is hereby appointed the Parenting Consultant (PC) for the parties under the following terms and conditions, and shall be considered a person presiding at an alternative dispute resolution proceeding pursuant to Minnesota Statute § 604A.32. 

[a] The parties agree to have the PC for two years. 

[b] The PC shall have the duty and responsibility to assist the parties in resolving all child-related issues submitted for resolution, except for issues related to spousal support, child support, and modifications of custody.

[d] The parties shall first attempt to resolve the issues themselves before requesting assistance from the PC.  Upon notification by a party that there is an issue in controversy, the PC will meet with the parties by telephone, in person, or by other means as determined appropriate by the PC, to discuss the issue in controversy. The PC will review all appropriate information relating to the issue in controversy, including, but not limited to, any existing and prior court Orders and any agreements of the parties.  The PC may meet and communicate with the child(ren) as the PC deems appropriate.  Both parties shall participate in the dispute-resolution process defined by the PC and governed by Minnesota Rules of Practice, Rule 114 in accordance with the principles of due process. The process will include, at a minimum, the opportunity for each to express his or her opinion. In the event a party does not attend a meeting or otherwise fails to respond in a timely manner, the PC may deem the party’s participation waived. The PC may also proceed by joint or individual in-person meetings, telephone, written correspondence or other means determined appropriate by the PC as the situation warrants. If a party fails to provide input into a decision of the PC after a reasonable period of time following a request for input, the PC may resolve this issue in controversy without input from that parent.  All decisions of the PC shall be made promptly in writing. Decisions of the PC are by their very nature often made in circumstances involving time constraints, and possibly emergencies; therefore, these decisions may, initially, be made orally, but must be communicated to both parties and subsequently documented in writing. These decisions are binding when made.

[e] Both parties shall cooperate in good faith to resolve the matter(s) in dispute with the assistance of the PC.  To the extent a release is required by any non-party to disclose information to the PC, both parties shall sign all releases necessary for the PC to access any information the PC deems necessary.  The parties agree to abide by all decisions that are made by the PC, unless modified by subsequent court order, including during periods in which a motion is pending before the court.  It is the responsibility of the parents to provide the PC with all necessary information to stay in communication with them, including all phone numbers in order of priority for communication; mailing addresses; residence; and priority e-mail address.  The PC may consult with other professionals as necessary to conduct their duties.  If one or both of the parties disagree with the decision of the PC, that party must obtain a court hearing date to contest the PC’s decision, as set forth below.

She signed this. It was entered and filed. She has already agreed.

I don't want to take her to court. I don't want to get police involved. I don't want to further foster any ill-will. I want to give our children the best childhood we can at this point. Jen and I need to coordinate some very basic things and have open communication. I have no expectations of sitting down with her for tea and discussing a movie we recently watched. But, I do have the expectation that we have enough respect for each other, or, at the very least, the children, to work together and not actively do things that are detrimental to the girls. I have tried working with the OurFamilyWizard tool, but it is proving insufficient. I need some help from a neutral third-party, with specific expertise in these sorts of issues. This is the very reason we included such provisions in our Decree; we knew there was a very real chance that we'd need help.

At this time, we need to honor the children's need for improved co-parenting.

Sincerely,
Andy

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November 15, 2016

Hello Mr. [LastName] - 

I was forwarded an email string between you and Cheryl in our front office.

I know that this is frustrating, but, at this point, given our efforts to engage Jen and her clear response to those efforts, we have done all we can. This would be a different circumstance if work had begun and I had signed contracts from both of you in place. That's not where we are at this moment so we are stuck. Despite the court order, etc., it is not my place to drag someone in here and until I have signed contracts from all involved I cannot begin work at all. There is a court order, I know, but our office has it's own policies about what needs to be done on this end and getting contracts in place is step one.

I would encourage you to remind her that there is an order and that failure to abide by that order may result in you returning to court to force the matter. There is nothing more that I can do at this point. I hope that clarifies matters and, while still frustrating, helps you understand.

Thanks much,

Matthew

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November 15, 2016
Thank you for the clarification. I have sent a message within OurFamilyWizard reminding her as such. Please don't hesitate to reach out if you receive feedback (positive or otherwise) from Jennifer. I look forward to getting beyond this sticking point and collectively taking steps in a positive direction.

Patiently yours,
Andy

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Social Interaction Puzzle

I encountered a social interaction that perplexed me. I invite you to put yourself into this puzzle and consider your reaction. To do so, you'll need to fill the following roles with people you know:
- Cousin. Preferably of an age that them having a longtime relationship seems reasonable. (If you don't have such a cousin, you can substitute someone else. We're looking for someone you more-or-less trust, regardless of how close you are to them or how much you like them.)
- Significant Other. Your own sweetie. Could be spouse, long term relationship, or even your newest fling. (I imagine longer relationship might help the experiment, but who knows.)
- Friend of Significant Other. Someone you might know, but they were initially your SO's friend. (Note - This person should be in a different social circle than your cousin. We're looking to create some horizontal distance.)
- Friend of Significant Other's Partner. As with your own relationship, this could be long lived or recent.

The more of these people who actually exist, the better. However, let's say your partner's buddy is presently unattached... you can give them a fictitious spouse.

Here's the situation. Remember, this is all imaginary, but try your best to assign people to the roles and see how it feels.

Your cousin breaks up with their partner (henceforth "the Ex"). (This could be divorce, called off engagement, or a break up, but this is a fairly major event.)
Your cousin shares some private details regarding the Ex. (We'll come back to this later.)
You are happily in a relationship with your Significant Other.
Your Significant Other has a long-time friend.
This friend has a partner.
You happen to see a photo (on Facebook or something like that) of that couple (friend and partner) along with Someone Else... and the Ex.

Hypothetically, what information would your cousin have to have shared with you regarding the Ex that would cause you to feel compelled to reach out to your Significant Other's Friend's Partner, to strongly encourage them to warn this other person about the Ex?

Here are some possible examples of things you might have learned:
- The Ex cheated on their taxes.
- The Ex cheated on your cousin.
- The Ex cheated at Monopoly as a child.
- The Ex has a drug addiction.
- The Ex has a gambling addition.
- The Ex has a pornography addiction.
- The Ex has a Candy Crush addiction.
- The Ex has a Jane's Addiction CD collection.
- The Ex has poor grammar.
- The Ex has poor hygiene.
- The Ex has poor circulation.
- The Ex is a poor tipper.
- The Ex is a poor lover.
- The Ex is a poor sport.
- The Ex is simply poor.
- The Ex once hit a hole in the wall.
- The Ex once hit a hole in one in golf.
- The Ex once hit a whole bunch of garden gnomes with a riding lawn mower.
- The Ex once killed a man to watch him die.
- The Ex once poured out a perfectly good bottle of wine.
- The Ex once thought Star Wars: Episode I was the best of the series.
- The Ex once mowed their lawn naked.
- The Ex once showed up at a funeral in a clown costume.
- The Ex roots for [rival sports team].
- The Ex feels [not your favorite candidate] would be a good president.
- The Ex doesn't always wash hands after handling raw meat.
- The Ex drives alone in the HOV lane.
- The Ex doesn't come to complete stops at stop signs.
- The Ex doesn't wait 30 minutes after eating before swimming.

Can anybody help me?... [chirping sounds]

[Support Rep]:    Welcome to [Cell Company] Andy ! My name is [Support Rep] and I hope you're doing great today. Please let me know how can I help you to make your day even better
Me:    Good morning, [Support Rep]. I am hoping you can make my day even better.
Me:    I've been a [Cell Company] user since September of last year. Very happy. Things are wonderful.
Me:    I have one minor annoyance and I'd like to fix it.
Me:    I am enrolled in autopay. This is wonderful and working correctly.
Me:    However, on the 14th of each month, all 3 of the phones on my group plan receive a text that states the following:
Me:    Just a quick [Cell Company] reminder! Your monthly Auto payment for account ######### will be processed tomorrow for $##.##. You can always manage your Auto Pay by logging into your account at [Cell Company].com or using the My [Cell Company] app.
Me:    Then, on the 15th, we all get this message:
Me:    Got it. This is [Cell Company] confirming we received your $##.## payment for account #########. Did you know that you can manage your account at [Cell Company].com?
Me:    Last month, I had a chat and tried to get this notification turned off. They tried updating my settings. However, I got the "Just a quick [Cell Company] reminder!" again.
Me:    So, on Monday, I chatted again.
Me:    After both the 2/15 and 3/14 chats, I got this text:
Me:    A heads up from [Cell Company]! Changes were made to your My [Cell Company] account. You can check out your account at [Cell Company].com or using the My [Cell Company] app.
Me:    So, I could tell some update had been made.
Me:    However, on Tuesday, subsequent to my chat and receiving a pair of "A heads up from [Cell Company]!", I once again got the "Got it." text.
Me:    I know this is not a major deal. I know I'm not getting charged for texts.
Me:    But, it is annoying to get this pair of texts every month.
[Support Rep]:    Please let me check your account
Me:    Yes please. By all means. :)
[Support Rep]:    : )
[Support Rep]:    The notifications that you are receiving are automatic by the system
Me:    Correct. I would like them disabled.
[Support Rep]:    OK
[Support Rep]:    I am going to perform a change on your account
[Support Rep]:    Let me know if you got the notification
Me:    Yes. I got a notification
[Support Rep]:    About what?
Me:    A quick [Cell Company] account update: The number [my cell number] you asked us to send messages to regarding your Auto Pay credit card is no longer on your account. If we need to remind you about an expiring card we will send a message to [my dad's number]. To change the number, use the My [Cell Company] app or log in at [Cell Company].com
[Support Rep]:    After that
[Support Rep]:    No other?
Me:    That's the only one so far.
Me:    In truth, [my number] is the "primary" account, and it's the other 2 that really don't need any notifications.
Me:    Then, on my primary line, I'd like to only receive notifications of things that require my attention. I don't really need a pair of texts each month reminding me that I've signed up for a program that is supposed to let me not think or worry about my billing each month. ;)
Me:    I just got another notify
Me:    A heads up from [Cell Company]! Changes were made to your My [Cell Company] account. You can check out your account at [Cell Company]qireless.com or using the My [Cell Company] app.
[Support Rep]:    Yes
Me:    And another.
Me:    A heads up from [Cell Company]! Changes were made to your My [Cell Company] account. You can check out your account at [Cell Company]qireless.com or using the My [Cell Company] app.
[Support Rep]:    Yes, I was testing that
Me:    Yup. I'm just reporting the results. :)
[Support Rep]:    It seems that disable this is not working
[Support Rep]:    Have you tried
[Support Rep]:    Registering your phone number here https://www.donotcall.gov
Me:    Really? I need to put myself on a do not call list. Shouldn't [Cell Company] be able to stop sending me messages, without getting the .gov involved?
Me:    Are you able to tell if these are also being sent to my parents?
Me:    At the very least, I'd like to turn those off.
Me:    [###-###-####] Andy (me); [###-###-####] mom; [###-###-####] dad
Me:    Mom and Dad got confused about both of them having a payment of $90 due the next day. They were worried that they needed to do something, and that it meant our total bill was $270, which freaked them out.
Me:    So, I'd like the "account management" type texts to only be sent to [my number]
[Support Rep]:    I understand your request Andy
Me:    And then, in addition to that, if I could turn off the auto-pay related messages, that would be great.
[Support Rep]:    I submit the request from here and you are still receiving the notifications
[Support Rep]:    That is the only tool that we have
Me:    Hmm. Does someone else have more tools?
[Support Rep]:    The website that I gave you
Me:    DoNotCall.gov
[Support Rep]:    Correct
Me:    That sounds drastic.
Me:    I'll go out there and take a look, but I'm imagining that's the national Do Not Call list. I don't want to disable all texts to my phone, or even all texts from businesses.
Me:    Just the pair of monthly autopay notifications from [Cell Company].
[Support Rep]:    Those would be sent to your phone number
[Support Rep]:    That is the one enable to
[Support Rep]:    Andy?
Me:    Hmm. I just pulled up that website. I don't really think it's the correct solution to this problem.
Me:    The 3 main options are: Register a Phone Number; Verify a Registration; Submit a Complaint.
Me:    I think, if I register, it would mean no companies should attempt to reach me.
Me:    And then, if I kept getting these auto pay notices, that I'd "file a complaint", but I don't want to get [Cell Company] into some sort of trouble.
[Support Rep]:    From here I just submit the request again, even tough I am going to provider your account number to my supervisor can escalated the situation
Me:    So, on your end, what you can see about the numbers on my group account, do you see them as enabled or disabled?
[Support Rep]:    Disabled to receive those notifications
Me:    So, from what you're seeing, if I hadn't told you I was still getting texts, you would believe that everything should be turned off and I shouldn't be getting any. Correct?
[Support Rep]:    Correct
Me:    Is there some way to report a system bug? It seems like something isn't quite behaving as it probably should be, and the technical development team would need to code a change.
[Support Rep]:    Yes, I am going to give to my supervisor your account number in order to resolve it
Me:    Cool. If they want to reach out to me, I would welcome that. I'm happy to help trying to get this resolved.
[Support Rep]:    Sure, we will get in touch with you
Me:    Awesome. Thanks.
[Support Rep]:    You are welcome Andy



It doesn't seem like it should be this hard. They are in the communication business. 3 different support chats, trying to something "as drastic" as turning disabling an automated notify. At the very least, one should be able to choose that the notifies only go to the primary account. 

But when they recommended I "solve it" by going to DoNotCall.gov?!? Are you kidding me? (Andy: "Uhm, yeah, my chicken seems a little under-done. Any chance you could throw it back in the oven for a few more minutes?" Server: "Sorry, bra. What you might want to do is eat it, and then, if you get sick, go to the emergency room. They can take care of you.")

Kids say... Taking it on the chin

Setup: I'm messaging Cory about the pick up time for a sleep over birthday party. Melanie (8) is nearby and, out of the blue, makes an observation.

Melanie: Oh... Your chin looks like butt cheeks.

Much laughter ensued.

Support Chat. (Not the droids I'm looking for.)

welcome to [Reputable Retailer] Chat.

You are now connected to Roxane.
Roxane: Thanks for shopping on [ReputableRetailer].com. My name is Roxane. How can I help you?  
Andy: Good morning, Roxane. I received an email about an order I placed and I'm a little perplexed.
Andy: It informed me that there was an unexpected delay. Here, I'll just paste it here.
Roxane: Good Morning, Andy. 
Andy: We just found out about an unexpected delay that affects your order (Order #xxxxxxxxxxxx) placed on 12/13/2015. We're sorry, but we may not be able to deliver your item(s) by the estimated delivery date you received with your original order. If you still want your item(s), you will need to approve the new estimated delivery date(s) by visiting your order detail page. We will do our best to fulfill the delayed item(s) from your order, but if we can't, we will let you know as soon as possible. If we don't hear from you, your item(s) will be canceled. You may also visit your order detail page to cancel item(s) if they are backordered or if you no longer want them. Remember, you will not be charged for any item until it ships. If items need to ship separately, your shipping charges will not increase.
Andy: The thing that is puzzling to me is that the "default behavior", as in, if I took no action, would be to cancel my order.
Roxane: I'm sorry for the inconvenience caused.  
Roxane: Let me check and help you.   
Roxane: Could you provide order number and email address?
Andy: It was easy enough to follow the link, and things are back on track, but I'm struggling to imagine why, by default, a delayed order would become cancelled.
Andy: Order #xxxxxxxxxxxx
Andy: [username]@yahoo.com
Roxane: Thank you.
Roxane: To confirm, are you referring about the items, The Matrix Collection: 4 Film Favorites [WS] [2 Discs] and Mighty No. 9 (Wii U)?
Andy: I took action on Mighty No. 9.
Andy: I didn't think the Matrix had any issues.
Andy: But, yes, that is the order in question.
Roxane: Thank you for confirming. 
Roxane: Would you mind waiting a few minutes while I check into that?
Andy: Not at all.
Andy: Go right ahead.
Andy: I guess, while you're looking at that order, the other oddity is that for the iHome Bluetooth Rechargeable Mini Speaker Cube (iBT16BB) it shows the delivery progress as "Shipped", but not "Delivered".
Andy: I have that speaker.
Roxane: Thanks for waiting. I appreciate your patience.
Roxane: I have checked the order and see that item you are referring is back ordered. 
Roxane: It’s possible your [ReputableRetailer].com order status may read “Backordered”.          
Roxane: This indicates an order delay because an item is temporarily out of stock. The item will ship as soon as it’s in stock.                   
Roxane: You may receive an email asking you to approve a delay in the order shipment.                                   
Roxane: You’ll continue to receive emails if there are any changes to the order status, and when the item ships.                      
Roxane: If you don’t want to wait for the item, you can also request to cancel the order.
Andy: Everything you just described makes sense.
Andy: However
Andy: The email I got, informing me of the delay, indicated that -- If I do nothing in response to the email ... my order would be canceled.
Andy: That's the part that makes no sense to me.
Roxane: Need not to worry, you will continue to receive emails if there are any changes to the order status, and when the item ships.
Andy: I totally appreciate "Hey, that item you ordered and we said we could get you by Friday... yeah, we're out of that. We'll get it to you as soon as we can."
Andy: And to such a message I might say, "Oh... well, I really can't wait. I guess I'll have to find another way to get it. Can we cancel it?"
Andy: That exchange makes sense to me.
Andy: But, what the email I got seems to imply is:
Roxane: Yes, you can also request to cancel the order.   
Andy: "Hey, that item you ordered and we said we could get you by Friday... yeah, we're out of that. We assume you don't want it anymore. If that's not the case, you'd better tell us that."
Andy: To be clear, I do still want my items and I have taken the action.
Andy: I just think the course of action prescribed by the email seems backwards.
Roxane: If you don't want the item, you can return the item to any [Reputable Retailer] store or online for full refund.
Andy: Hmmm. I feel you are missing my point.
Andy: I love [Reputable Retailer].
Andy: I'm pleased with your services.
Andy: I'm happy with my order.
Andy: I understand your return policies and how to cancel an item.
Andy: What I don't understand is why the email was indicating that it was going to cancel my order because of the delay, unless I did something about it.
Andy: It wasn't hard for me to do my part.
Andy: I just don't think that's the right way to go about it.
Roxane: It's great to hear, we would like our guest to be satisfied for there needs and wants and I will share you comments to your concerned department. 
Roxane: Would you like me to cancel the item The Matrix Collection: 4 Film Favorites [WS] [2 Discs] on behalf of you?
Andy: No thank you. I would like to receive everything I ordered.
Roxane: Okay, Andy.  
Andy: Is there a comments section or feedback location?
Andy: I'd like to share my concern with the shipping/delivery/email notification area.
Roxane: Yes, once you end the chat you will receive the survey form to fill your feedback. 
Andy: Cool.
Andy: I did have one other question about my order.
Roxane: I'm sorry, you can share your concern with the shipping/delivery/email at guest.service@[ReputableRetailer].com.  
Roxane: Please go ahead!
Andy: I'm actually moving soon, so, with the estimated delay to Mighty No. 9, I might prefer it shipped to my new address. Is it possible to do that?
Andy: The Matrix should still go where I had requested.
Roxane: I'm sorry, once the order is placed, we can't edit or make any changes to the order.  
Andy: Ok. I'll still be able to pick it up at the current/old address. Just thought I'd ask.
Andy: I believe I'm all set.
Roxane: Do you have any further questions for me?
Andy: Not at this time. Thank you.
Andy: Have a great day.
Roxane: Have a blessed day!
Roxane: Thanks for shopping on [ReputableRetailer].com. I hope you'll visit us again soon!

Not Quite on Target

Today I received the following email:

hello Andrew,

We just found out about an unexpected delay that affects your order (Order #xxxxxxxxxxxx) placed on 12/13/2015. We're sorry, but we may not be able to deliver your item(s) by the estimated delivery date you received with your original order.

If you still want your item(s), you will need to approve the new estimated delivery date(s) by visiting your order detail page. We will do our best to fulfill the delayed item(s) from your order, but if we can't, we will let you know as soon as possible.

If we don't hear from you, your item(s) will be canceled. You may also visit your order detail page to cancel item(s) if they are backordered or if you no longer want them.

Remember, you will not be charged for any item until it ships. If items need to ship separately, your shipping charges will not increase.

Thanks for shopping at [Reputable Retailer].
Team [Reputable Retailer]


I feel that the default behavior -- what would happen if I took no action -- is wrong.

If I'm reading things correctly, it means that, because of an unexpected delay, unless I do something, my order will be canceled.

Here's what I would have expected:
[Retailer]: Hey, that item you ordered and we said we could get you by Friday... yeah, we're out of that. We'll get it to you as soon as we can.

To which I'd reply either:
Customer: Ok. Thanks for letting me know. I look forward to getting it when it's available.
<OR>
Customer: Oh... well, I really can't wait. I guess I'll have to find another way to get it. Can we cancel that order?
[Retailer]: Sure thing. Sorry for the inconvenience.
Customer: That's ok. No big deal.

But here's what the email I got feels like:
[Retailer]: Hey, that item you ordered and we said we could get you by Friday... yeah, we're out of that. We assume you don't want it anymore. If that's not the case, you'd better tell us that.

If I was ordering something time sensitive, like a pizza or flowers for a wedding, I could see not necessarily wanting my shipment days later. I clearly would have had to make different arrangements. But, for a video game? Sure, I'd like to start playing it next week, but I won't suddenly "not want to play it" the following week.


I sent the above to [Reputable Retailer] in an email. I actually tried using live support chat, but that was like two ships passing in the night. I think I'll post that here, too. We were definitely on different pages. Oh well.