In the doghouse

My dog is getting old and I fear I am not able to provide him the care and attention that he needs. He's a 12 year-old neutered male Maltese. He has very few teeth left (though still eats small kibble mixed with a little water). His vision and hearing are suspect. He is house trained, thus nobody has to take him outside in the dead of winter, but he does have his share of "intentionals". (Those are like "accidents", but with premeditation.)

Jen has become allergic to him, so he's no longer allowed to sleep in our room. Due to the aforementioned "intentionals", he needs to be contained at night. He's got a small gated area, with his dog bed, his water dish, and a piddle pad, in the basement, but lately he's taken to barking... in the middle of the night... a lot. (To be clear, he also likes to bark in the daytime. In general, if he's separated from the pack, he's fond of vocalizing his discontent.)

I think he's lonely.

He's occasionally had nights not in his pen, and, though he doesn't bark, he has had an alarmingly high "intentional" rate.

Oh, how I wish I could reason with him. "Neo, if you promise not to pee on the floor, you can have free run of the entire house."

Alas, one cannot reason with a dog. So he's relegated to his pen.
When he barks, he gets put in his kennel and put out in our attached garage.
Whenever he's been in his kennel for a period of time, he invariably pees in there.

This leaves us with a stinky, barking dog, that my wife is allergic to, who, more often than he should, pees on the floor. This is not raising his stock value.

He needs a home where he can be free; where he's not separated from the pack. He doesn't require walks (his small stature ensures that running throughout the house is sufficient exercise). He likes nothing more than to sit in someone's lap, or right next to them in a large chair, or on one of his dog beds on the floor in a room with people. He's pretty friendly with people, though he doesn't take too kindly to being stepped on. He will occasionally "bite" at feet if you do catch his tail accidentally. (I put "bite" in quotes due to his lack of teeth.)

I don't want to kill my dog, but I'm afraid I can't keep him much longer.

Anybody have a contingent in your household rooting for getting a dog, but maybe others aren't so sure? Would you like to borrow Neo for a week or two, to test out if the kids will actually feed him and clean up after him, like they promise they will? (If it’s going well, this “trial period” could be extended indefinitely.)
Any retired, empty-nesters looking for a companion that doesn't require much maintenance?

I'd like to "send him to a farm, to happily live out the rest of his days".
Are you a "farmer"?

9... 10... D'oh!

We were trying to download a new song for Just Dance 2014 on the Wii and we got an error. The message said that, if this error continues to occur, go to a website.

The error continued.

I went to the website.

Searching for the error code, I found the "solution" was to call an 800-number.

I called that 800-number. (I must admit, the hold music was pretty enjoyable: various themes from the Zelda universe.)

I was finally connected with David. He was very pleasant, but wouldn't be able to fix my issue himself. He needed to open a ticket with the tech department. They would contact me within the next 1 to 2 business days.

Later that same day, I received an email. It had a different number to call.

I called that different number.

I was eventually connected with Casey. He asked for my reference number, which I provided, and then for the error code, which I also provided. (Though, I had expected that information to already be available to him, as he was, presumably, looking at my incident ticket at that point in time.)

He looked up the code and then proceeded to explain what this error means and how to "fix" it. He explained that some files had gotten corrupted and that this can often happen when people illegally modify their systems.

 

He asked if I had made such modifications.

 

I said that I had not (which, by the way, is the truth, though I suspect that question is fairly universally answered in the negative).

 

He then proceeded to explain "the solution": formatting the memory.

"This may result in the loss of data." (Uhm... not so much "may" if I'm doing a format.)

Playing dumb, I asked, "What about the files that I cannot move to the SD card?"

As expected, he indicated that those would be lost.

I wish I had a transcript of the conversation because I don't recall exactly when, but he did mention that this error is typically a result of people illegally modifying the system. That's all well and good... if I had modified my system, but, since I hadn't, the karmic slap in the face seems unwarranted.

Basically, I’m being accused of breaking the rules and then I’m going to lose all my data. Wow, way to make me feel like a valuable customer.

 

 

Epilogue: We later reattempted the download, and it worked. So, we haven't lost any data yet, but I'm fearful that there is a lingering problem that could rear its head at any moment.

Kids say... I need a Hero

Setup: Melanie(7) was reading an illustrated book of Marvel stories. She was listing off the various characters.
 
Melanie: Green Lamp, Red Robin, Batman, Superman, Lightning Fast-guy, the one with metal on him, and that guy who goes under water.
 

[Later, she is discussing the villains and, yes, she used the term "villains".]

 
Melanie: Lex Luther, the Brainy freeze guy, the clown, the one with two faces.

Kids say...

Setup: Melanie(6) is being fiercely independent. She's done some work around the house to earn some money and she’s decided to spend some of it. So, we all go to Chipotle: she is going to purchase her very own hard shell.
When we're just about to the front of the line, I realize that I’ve left my wallet in the car.

Andy: I'll be right back.
Melanie (disappointed): But, Dad… You're going to miss me buy my taco.

Ok... this didn't actually happen, but it made me smile.

"Search" engine

We have a system that stores documents regarding how to deal with various incidents we encounter.

This system has a “search function” that allows you to enter a “search string” and it will return “search results”, ranked by a score indicating how closely the resulting item matched the “search string”. It will also highlight which characters in the result were found to match.

Below are the details from a recent search. You are seeing the1st, 2nd, and 40th “best matches”.

Search for:
Task 'TWINVAP004#II21EBM0100D' abnormal in process 'TWINVAP004#IDailyTestEQBM'

Score Title
100  Computer is loud or making strange sounds.
99  Cursor not responding in Windows
93 Task 'TWINVAP100#I21EBM0100D' abnormal in process 'TWINVAP100#IDailyTestEQBM'

In case it’s a bit hard to see with them so far apart, here are the search string and the “40th best match” shown directly above one another. (Red denotes differences.)
Task 'TWINVAP004#II21EBM0100D' abnormal in process 'TWINVAP004#IDailyTestEQBM'
Task 'TWINVAP100# I21EBM0100D' abnormal in process 'TWINVAP100#IDailyTestEQBM'

"Thank you" for your "support"

Below is the automated reply, in its entirity, from a website:

 ## Reply ABOVE THIS LINE to add a note to this request ##

Thank you for your inquiry. Your request has been received and is being reviewed by our support staff. Please note the information below as it will allow you to track the progress of your request online.

________________________________________

Hmm. Given the "information below", I'm concerned about the potential "progress of [my] request".

Calling ahead

This note is about a store with which I am generally happy, though this particular note is somewhat disparaging, so I'm removing the specific name: They Are Really Great... Excluding This.

Dear “Convenient Pharmacy”,

If my daughter is sick enough that I'm willing to interrupt my normal work schedule to take her in to see a doctor, it seems reasonable to conclude that I'm interested in her getting better. The fact that the physician has prescribed medication indicates that we are actively looking for solutions to a situation.

It is frustrating to arrive at the pharmacy counter after the appointment wherein a prescription was sent to you and, regardless of how much time has passed between leaving the clinic and arriving at your counter, you are "just now" finding out about the prescription. The entire point of sending it ahead of time is that you can have it ready.

However, invariably, when I finally get to the front of the line, the person always gives me a blank stare, has to wander over to the baskets, then to a second set of baskets, then checks a few more counters, then asks a few of the other people "have you seen the 'Smith' order?", then they go to another terminal, and finally they pull it up. "Oh, it just came through. It will be about 20 minutes."
 
20 minutes?!?
 
It took more than 20 minutes to get here from the clinic. I have a sick child. She is uncomfortable and in need of medication. We want to get the medicine in her as soon as possible to begin the road to recovery. Why have you not been working on this until now?

So, I wander around the store with my sick child for about 20 minutes and then return. At least the clerk recognizes my face, though not the last name, but he knows why I'm there. He goes back to a counter and says "Ok, we just need to mix it up."

Mix it up?!?

What were you doing for the past 20 minutes? Do you really think that, after our first encounter, I'm going to decide my child is no longer sick and just leave the store, never to return again? This medicine is to be stored at room temperature. It can sit on your counter just as well as it can sit on mine. I am to shake vigorously before each dose, so, even if it were to settle out a bit, waiting for my return (which should be within 20 minutes), it won't affect the potency of the medicine. It will be sitting on my counter for 4 days!
 
And then, you need to give me a consult. Really?!? My daughter is 6 and my eldest is 9. We've dealt with liquid medicine before. In fact, we've been in to this very clinic before… for this very same child…  for this very same medicine. While I appreciate the "option" of a consult, should I have any questions, if there's nothing out-of-the-ordinary, please don't introduce another delay into this process. So long as the label clearly indicates the dose amount and frequency, whether or not to refrigerate it, and whether or not to take it with food, I should be good.
 
Analogous situation:
Me: Hello, Fictitious Pizza Palace? Yeah. I'd like to order some take out.
FPP Employee: Alright, what’ll it be?
Me: Can I get 2 large, original curst pepperoni pizzas?
FPP Employee: Sure thing. Your total comes to $10. It will be about 20 minutes.
Me: Great.
[20 minutes pass, during which, I have driven to Fictitious Pizza Palace.]
Me: Hello, I'm here to pick up my order.
FPP Employee: Ok, sir. One moment please.
[Goes back to where the kitchen.]
[Returns.]
FPP Employee: Alright, we just need to bake it. I will be another 15 to 20 minutes, ok?